In response to overwhelming client demand, gShift has today introduced the industry’s first verified Automagic SEO Button, designed to propel a Web presence to the #1 Position on Google for any chosen keyword with one simple click.
While incredibly simple to configure, the new functionality dubbed gTurbo, is powered by patent-pending, innovative and, dare we say, miraculous technology, which effectively decodes the entire Google algorithm by intercepting Matt Cutts’ actual brainwaves.
The resulting data set is then fed via another highly innovative and patent-pending API, to a virtual army of rare Canadian chimpanzees who have been meticulously trained in the Dark Art of SEO and housed in gShift’s remote Northern secret headquarters. Each chimpanzee is assigned no more than 100 Web presences (to ensure compliance with strict International animal labor laws), which are in turn updated immediately with relevant keyword-rich content, backlinks and social signals guided by Mr. Cutts’ very deepest thoughts. gShift consumers need only sit back and watch their online visibility, website traffic and highly-qualified leads climb to astronomical heights.
Early testing has provided exceptional results including up to 2500% conversion growth in under three days for clients in certain sectors. One particularly happy online hog farmer from Idaho proclaims, “gTurbo has changed my business and improved my family’s quality of life. Now maybe the wife and I can take that trip to Dollyworld we’ve been planning, all the while reaping the benefits of a thriving eCommerce business. Thanks gTurbo!”
Click here to find out more about the rest of gShift’s Web Presence Analytics platform or to Schedule a Demo and be sure to ask about how you can benefit from gTurbo.
Disclaimer: No chimpanzees were physically, psychologically or in any other way harmed during the development, testing, release, implementation, configuration, redevelopment, retesting or subsequent re-implementation of gTurbo.
Extra Disclaimer: Happy April Fools!